


Not, In Fact, A Christian Themed Miniature Golf Course

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Finger Sucking, Frotting, Glory Hole, Humiliation, M/M, Objectification, Snowballing, blowjob, water sports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-05 00:44:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14605470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Mark saw something weird in a museum once. He kinda wants to try it.





	Not, In Fact, A Christian Themed Miniature Golf Course

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my buddy 90percent_noise, for his expertise in glory holes!

"You ever been to a glory hole?"

Jack, who had been drinking his water, paused, looking over at Mark.

"What?"

"A glory hole," said Mark, and he was staring down into his plate of eggs.

"Not really, no," said Jack.

"Are you, like, against the idea?"

"Oh, no," said Jack. "It sounds like it might be, you know, fun, just... you know."

"Hmm?"

Mark was still staring at his eggs, and he was flushing.

"I... I dunno," Jack said. "It looked like... I guess, it looked like fun, but at the same time I'm neurotic about dumb stuff."

"What kind of dumb stuff?"

"... promise you won't laugh?"

"I mean, I can't make promises," Mark said, and he was finally looking up at Jack, clearly trying not to laugh.

"... fine," said Jack, and he sighed, pushing his own empty plate forward, avoiding eye contact. "So... the main thing I was afraid of was getting splinters in my dick."

"... what?"

"Splinters. In my dick."

Mark was clearly trying to keep from laughing, and failing miserably. 

"Splinters on your dick?"

"Don't laugh," Jack said, and he was blushing very hard, but he was trying to hold back his own laughter now.

"Why did you think that you'd get splinters in your dick?" 

"Because... it's a hole in a fence, right? Or, like, the side of a bathroom stall. So there's gonna be all these... poking out-y bits, and then I'd think about the time I stuck my dick in a toilet paper tube -"

"You stuck your dick in a _toilet paper tube_?!"

Mark was full on laughing now - ugly laughing, his face turning red, and Jack crossed his arms, giving Mark a Look.

"Like you didn't stick your dick in dumb shit when you were young!"

"Not a fucking... toilet paper tube!"

"Hmph," said Jack, and he stuck his tongue out at Mark. 

Mark raised an eyebrow.

"So your main deterrent from looking for a glory hole or whatever was that you were worried about splinters in your dick?"

"Yeah, and the whole idea of having sex with a stranger was a little weird, let alone _anonymous_ sex with a stranger... so I figured maybe it wasn't for me."

"Well, they usually put duct tape around the rim of the hole," said Mark. "Or they make it big enough that, you know, you don't have to worry about it."

"Do they now?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a lot of experience with glory holes?"

"Not, like, a lot a lot," said Mark quickly. "Not that there's, uh, there's anything wrong with having a lot of experience with that kinda thing."

"Have you ever gone to a glory hole?"

"No," said Mark. "It's a fantasy of mine, but I've never had the guts. First I was too chickenshit in general, and then I was a YouTube star and I... didn't need to be known for that. You know."

"Yeah," said Jack. "I've, uh, I've gone dogging once or twice, but it was a while ago."

"Dogging?"

"Yeah." Jack was flushing so hard his ears were turning red, his heart beating in his head. "It's... you know, going out to, like, a car park or something like that, and meeting up with people to fuck."

"Oh. That's called "cruising" in the US."

"Wasn't that a movie?"

"Yeah, in the eighties. It used to be, uh, it used to just be gay dudes, but it's not just gay dudes."

"Right."

"The movie has Al Pacino in it, I think," said Mark. 

"Is that where you got the idea for it?"

"For what?"

"The... glory hole thing," said Jack. 

"Oh," said Mark. "Do you think that I've got a glory hole thing?"

"I mean," said Jack, "you _did_ start this conversation."

"That's true," said Mark, and he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I must look like such a goober."

Jack shrugged.

"You've got a fantasy," he said. "I mean... we've all got weird fantasies. I'm sure that's pretty tame, all things considered."

"It's not swinging from the chandeliers... metaphorically," said Mark, "I'll give you that."

"Would anyone ever want to actually have sex while swinging from a chandelier?"

"There must be someone out there who would be into that," said Mark. "Just... an outlier."

"Chandeliers George was an outlier and shouldn't have been counted?" 

"You did _not_ just meme at me while we're talking about my weird fantasies," Mark said, and he sounded indignant, which got Jack cackling, because... well, it's hard to be serious when you bring a dumb meme into a serious conversation."

"I didn't think this was a super serious conversation," said Jack. "Unless it is," he added hurriedly, when he saw Mark's face fall. "I'm sorry. Am I not taking this seriously enough?" 

“No, no,” Mark said quickly. “I mean… it’s about as serious as we want it to be.”

“So you want to… go to a glory hole?” 

“Maybe not, like… right away,” said Mark. “I was thinking we could, you know, work up to it.”

“Work up to it,” Jack said, his voice deadpan.

“Yeah,” said Mark. “I’ve got, you know, ideas.”

“Ideas.”

“Yeah.”

Mark was flushing so hard that it was kind of amazing that he hadn’t passed out yet.

“What kinds of ideas?”

“I was thinking that you could… you know… maybe… we could try stuff. Certain kinds of stuff.”

“Certain kinds of stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“Fair enough,” said Jack. “I’m open for just about anything, I think.”

“Would you be up for peeing on me?”

“... what?”

The conversation seemed to have swerved, and he wasn’t entirely keeping up.

“Peeing. On me.”

“In relation to your glory hole thing?”

“Kinda, yeah,” said Mark, and he rubbed the back of his neck, leaning back in his chair - far back enough that the front legs of the chair were leaving the floor. 

“You wanna tell me more?”

“I’ve got this whole… you know, uh, this whole fantasy, where I suck a cock in a dirty restroom, and then I get pissed on,” said Mark, and he was avoiding eye contact.

“... huh,” said Jack.

“Was that a bad “huh”?” 

Mark looked anxious.

“No, just… wasn’t expecting that,” Jack said, and he smiled, self conscious. “Can I wrap my head around it a little bit?”

“Sure,” said Mark. “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry,” Jack said. “It’s fine. It’s weird, but… hey, what in life isn’t?”

“You sure?”

“Oh yeah,” said Jack. “It’s great. I promise.”

“Okay,” said Mark, and he sighed. “Okay. Sorry for all of… this.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jack said. “Okay?”

“... okay.”

* * *

“So,” said Jack, a few days later, as the two of them fussed around the bathroom sink, brushing their teeth, “for your glory hole thing… what’s the bit you like?”

Mark spat out his foaming mouthful of toothpaste.

“Could you have maybe, like, give me a warning before you just say stuff like that?”

“Me just saying stuff like that is the warning,” said Jack, his tone placid.

“... what?”

“If I said, “I want to have a conversation about glory holes” or something like that, you’d still react like that. So I just launch into it, so we can talk about it.”

“... oh,” said Mark. “You know, that makes sense.”

“I do that sometimes,” said Jack, and he grinned, taking his own mouthful of water and spitting it. 

“Very funny,” said Mark. 

Jack grinned at him with his newly cleaned teeth.

“... so what was the question?”

Mark’s expression was sheepish. 

“What’s the… appeal of the glory hole thing? Like, when you think about it, what is it that gets you up and running? What aspect of glory holes makes you horny?”

“The… anonymity of it,” said Mark. “The idea that I don’t entirely know who’s on the other end of it. And… hmmm….”

“Hmm?”

“I’m thinking,” Mark said, and he leaned against the sink, staring off into the middle distance.

“Right,” said Jack, and then he was… elbowing Mark aside, fishing his cock out, and putting up the toilet seat.

“Are you… peeing in front of me?!”

Mark was flushing.

“Yeah,” said Jack, and he sighed as he let go. 

“Why…?”

“Well,” said Jack, “you said you’re into watersports, and I figure if you’re okay with the idea of me peeing on you, you’re okay with me peeing in front of you. And because I need to take a piss and you look like you’ll be standing there forever thinking about whatever, so I might as well just get it over with.”

“... right,” said Mark, and he was flushing, his cheeks a dark red.

His dick was hard, tenting his pajama pants.

“You’re really into piss,” Jack said, and he wasn’t even trying to hide his surprise.

“Yeah,” said Mark, and he was rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I mean,” Mark said, “it’s gross.”

Jack shrugged.

“It’s just piss,” he said. “As long as you’re not asking _me_ to drink it or whatever, I’m pretty good?”

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Do you really want me to pee on you?”

“... yeah.”

“Like how?”

“Well,” said Mark, and he was rubbing his hands together, “in, uh… in my fantasy, the… the one that pertains to us, I mean. To this conversation….”

“Yes?”

“Sorry,” said Mark, and he sighed. “I’ve got a lot of… you know, shame.”

“Yeah, I understand,” said Jack. “But don’t worry. I’m not judging you.”

“Okay,” said Mark, and he took a deep breath. “So in this fantasy, I’m… I’m in a dirty bathroom. Like, at a bar. Probably a gay bar. And you’re… on the other side, only I don’t know it’s you, I just know that there’s a cock in front of my face, and it’s my job to suck it. So I do. I suck the cum right out of your cock - out of that cock, and then you pull out and you piss on my face.”

“Not in your mouth?”

“Not in my mouth, no,” said Mark.

“Huh,” said Jack. “Okay.”

“And… part of the fantasy of the glory hole, like, itself, is the idea of… you know, the idea that someone doesn’t even see me as enough of a person for their hands or their face or anything. I’m just like a fleshlight. You don’t need a fleshlight to see your face, you just need it to service your dick.”

“That’s pretty hot,” Jack admitted, and indeed, his own cock was going hard. 

How about that?

“I do my best,” Mark demurred.

Jack rolled his eyes.

“Learn to take a compliment, you big idiot,” said Jack, emphasizing his accent on the word “idiot” - “ee-jit.”

Mark flushed.

“So… how would you feel about me maybe… sticking my dick through a sheet and covering my face while you blow me?”

“... I’ve never actually thought of that,” said Mark, “but, uh, I think it might… be in my wheelhouse.”

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah,” said Mark. “It’s… I never really thought of this kinda thing before. Both in regards to myself, and just… you know. I didn’t think I’d be able to say it.”

“Why did you ask in the first place, then?”

“Well, it can’t hurt to check, can it?”

“Fair enough,” said Jack, and he patted Mark on the head. “So you want to try this?”

“... sure,” said Mark. “Yeah, fuck it. Let’s do it.”

“It won’t be too weird with me lying down or whatever?”

“It’ll be different,” said Mark, “but different isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

“Right.” 

“Just use a crap sheet,” said Mark. “I don’t want a hole in any of them.”

Jack snorted. 

“Someone’s remarkably houseproud,” he teased.

Mark put on an exaggerated sniff, and Jack cackled, and kissed Mark on the cheek, a loud, smacking, ear ringing kiss.

* * *

Jack lay on the bed, his face covered by a pillow, occasionally lifting it up just enough so that he could catch his breath, then went back to covering himself. 

His cock was hard, and it was cold - all of him was under the sheet, which was, admittedly, very light, but still.

His cock was sticking out of the sheet, and his heart was beating in his head, as he squirmed.

He couldn’t see anything, and was going a little light headed from the restricted air flow.

And then Mark was sucking his cock.

It was really that simple - one minute, Jack was lying there, the next, there was a warm body between Jack’s legs, and a hot, wet mouth was wrapped around Jack’s cock.

Jack moaned, bit back the moan, pressed the pillow harder into his face, squirming, rolling his hips up.

His toes were curling, and his back was beginning to arch, as he began to pant. 

Oh god.

Mark was almost completely silent - he was moaning, quietly, he was making wet noises with his throat, he was sucking….

God, this was… well, it was a head trip.

Jack was usually a pretty handsy, talkative lover - he liked to have his hands in his partners hair, to moan their name, babble out praise.

But Mark just wanted to be a fleshlight.

Jack had used a fleshlight a few times over the course of his life, and he hadn’t exactly dirty talked to it at the time.

But oh god, Mark was… Mark was using his throat, Mark was doing the thing with his tongue that usually made Jack swear and shake and promise to be a better person, as long as it didn’t stop.

His cock was already beginning to swell - he couldn’t have been that pent up, could he?

He was biting his tongue, his lip, and then he was pulling the pillow up again for another breath, taking it, and back came the pillow, as he squirmed, digging his heels into the mattress, trying to just… take the pleasure, let it wash over him.

He was going to cum. 

He was going to cum quickly, and it was going to be embarrassing as all hell, but he was going to just take it - he was using a flesh light, he was fucking a tight, wet hole, that was all he was doing, it was… mm….

Jack lifted the pillow to get a little gasp of breath, and caught a glimpse of the top of Mark’s head, as Mark bobbed on his cock.

Oh _god_....

Jack covered his eyes up again, and he pressed his nose into the pillow, so hard it almost hurt, and his head was beginning to hurt from the lack of air, but then he was cumming.

It was a firecracker of an orgasm, going off at the base of his spine, traveling up his back, spreading between his shoulder blades, pulsing through his cock, and then Mark was coughing, and something… wet and sticky was on the sheet across Jack’s belly, soaking into the fabric.

“Dude,” said Mark, his voice rough, “give me a heads up next time?”

Jack poked his head out from under the pillow, getting up on his elbows to look along the line of his body to Mark, who had cum on his lips.

Oh _fuck_ , that was… fuck.

Jack’s cock was already spent, but goddamn if it didn’t give a little twitch.

“Sorry,” said Jack. “Although you did say you didn’t want me to talk during it, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah, I did, but… still.”

“Still what?”

“... maybe give me a heads up about you being about to cum,” said Mark. “‘cause, you know, the whole… getting my tonsils blasted with jizz isn’t really a fun part of the fantasy.”

Jack gave a thumbs up, and then he grinned, as Mark crowded closer, grinding against Jack’s thigh, the head of his cock leaving wet spots on the sheet, cold, slimy bits against Jack’s skin.

Jack ground his leg forward, and Mark gasped, grinding his hips forward.

“You sure you’re not gonna just cum right here ‘n now? Just like that?”

“I’ll get it… I’ll get it on the sheet,” said Mark, and he was flushing, but still humping against Jack’s leg, his hands clutching at Jack’s hips, his face red, sweat dripping down his face.

“It’s already got my jizz on it,” said Jack. “What’s a little more?”

“If you’re… if you’re sure,” said Mark, but his hips were speeding up, and he was shaking, his palms sweating enough to be clammy against Jack’s skin. 

“I’m sure,” Jack said, and he pressed his knee against Mark, as Mark kept humping his leg, messy, frantic, like some kind of desperate teenager, and god, this was… fuck….

“Fuck, Jack, please,” Mark whined, and then he was begging. “Please, please… please, Jack, please!”

“Please what?”

On a whim, Jack shoved his thumb into Mark’s mouth, and Mark latched on, sucking on it desperately, his eyes fluttering shut, and he was actually sobbing as he came, right into the sheet, still clutching at Jack’s sides.

At least he hadn’t bitten Jack when he came, although he was still sucking on Jack’s thumb.

“Fuck,” Jack said, with feeling.

“Um?”

Mark was looking sheepish again.

Jack looked down at him, and he smiled, anxiety rising in his chest like heartburn.

“That was… that was intense,” said Mark. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so intense.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yeah,” said Mark. “Yeah, I think I did.”

“Good,” said Jack, and he stroked across Mark’s cheek with a damp finger.

Mark made a face, but didn’t complain - he kissed the palm of Jack’s hand, then the inside of Jack’s wrist.

Jack flushed, but he grinned.

“So we can do stuff with this kink of yours,” said Jack. 

“We can?”

“We _totally_ can,” said Jack. “OKay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

About a week later, Jack and Mark took a shower together.

It was towards the end of the day, or maybe the start of the evening, depending on how you looked at those kinds of things.

But they had been roughhousing, filming stuff, and they were both overheated and dusty.

With the drought on, there wasn’t enough grass alive to be grass stained, but they were grass stained in spirit, if nothing else.

And now they were kissing.

Full contact kissing, Jack’s hands in Mark’s hair, Mark’s hands on Jack’s ass, and they were breathing each other’s breath, panting, trying to keep his head in one place, trying not to fall into a million fucking pieces.

“I want to try something,” said Mark, and his voice was rough, right in Jack’s ear.

“What kind of something?”

Jack draped his arms across Mark’s shoulders, the hair on his arms pasted down by the water.

“... can you pee on me?”

“What, like… right now?”

“Sure,” said Mark, and he was flushing. “I know… I know sometimes you pee in the shower, and I know that, uh, I know that you drank a lot of water and you don’t really sweat much, so you’ve got all this excess water to get rid of, so really all we can ask is that we do the… you know, the... .” 

“Mark,” said Jack, and he was grinning, “you’re babbling.”

“Sorry,” said Mark, and he was avoiding eye contact again. “Just… you know, I get embarrassed by this shit. By being so into this. Being into the idea of getting peed on.”

His cock was hard, pressing against Jack’s belly. 

Jack was hard too.

“... I could do it,” Jack said, and he leaned over, turning the shower off, so that the water was coming out of the tap. “But if we’re gonna do it, let’s… do it.”

“What do you mean?”

Jack leaned further forward, turning the water off, and then Mark was crouched in front of Jack, looking up at Jack.

“I figure, if we’re gonna have me pee on you, I can pee on you when you can tell that it’s me peeing on you, and not just the shower,” said Jack, and he was flushing, just a bit. 

“Oh,” said Mark, his voice rough.

“You want me to pee on your face?”

“And my chest,” Mark said. “If… that’s okay.”

“That’s okay,” said Jack, and he was leaning back against the wall. “I just need to be able to piss first, you know?”

“Hm?”

“Dude,” said Jack, “you’re literally right in front of me, naked, at what is frankly the _perfect_ blowjob height. How could I not have trouble getting soft again?”

“... I’m not that good looking,” said Mark, and he was flushing.

“Hey,” Jack said sharply, and he grabbed Mark by the hair, forcing Mark to look up at him, so that they were looking into each other’s eyes.

Mark’s eyes, which were warm and brown, and god, Jack just wanted to kiss him right now, but that would mean bending himself into some uncomfortable positions, which he wasn’t entirely up for at the moment.

But he pressed his fingers into Mark’s mouth again, and Mark latched on, almost automatically.

“God, you’re orally fixated,” Jack said, and he was grinning. “You just want something in your mouth, don’t you?”

Mark licked his lips, and his cheeks were turning redder.

“That’s the appeal of the glory hole thing to you isn’t it?”

Jack was teasing, and that was making it harder for his boner to go down, but fuck it. Sometimes you are well and truly called to something.

Mark flushed, but he nodded.

“You just want something in your mouth, don’t you? You just want something to suck on.”

And Mark kept sucking on Jack’s thumb, which was impeding the whole “lose the boner” thing, and Jack pulled his hands away regretfully.

“Okay,” Jack told Mark. “If you want me to pee on you, I need to be less horny.”

“Do I need to leave the room or something?”

“How will you be able to leave the room, with your head that big?”

“I thought i had a small head,” said Mark.

“I mean, technically, one of your heads is small,” said Jack, and he was grinning as he said it.

And then Mark was… _pouting_ , and that made it funnier, as Jack began to laugh, and that at least was helping Jack’s dick go down.

Okay.

Jack closed his eyes, adjusted his stance a bit, so that he was sitting up, and then he was aiming his cock, right at Mark’s face, as his cock finally got soft enough for him to piss.

“Close your eyes,” Jack said, right before he let loose, and Mark obediently closed his eyes. 

And then he was pissing - a good piss, a hard one, and Mark’s eyes were shut, but he was moaning

Jack moved his cock, so that he was aiming at Mark’s chest, and Mark arched his back, presenting more of himself to be pissed on, and that was almost enough to make Jack hard again, but no, he was going to let his bladder drain entirely.

Okay.

He sighed, and eventually he had pissed himself out, and Mark was just sitting there, looking up at Jack, his eyes wide.

There were drops of piss dripping down Mark’s face and it was disgusting and endearing in turn. 

“Hi,” said Mark, and his voice cracked.

“You doing okay down there?”

“I’m doing… better than okay,” said Mark, and his eyes looked practically beatific. “Fuck, Jack, I want to suck you off. Please, let me suck you off.”

“Are you sure? I just pissed.”

“I know you just pissed,” Mark said, losing some of the dreamy daze from his eyes, to look directly up at Jack, “you pissed _on me_.” 

“God, you’re a smartass,” said Jack. 

Mark smirked, and then he was reaching around, grabbing Jack’s ass and opening his mouth, taking Jack’s cock into his mouth and sucking it like he was going to die if he didn’t.

Jack’s knees went weak, and he leaned back against the tiles, his eyes half shut, and he put his hands in Mark’s hair, which was wet with water, sweat, and piss.

And Mark was gagging around Jack’s cock, sucking desperately, his fingers digging into Jack’s hips, his tongue wriggling along the slit of Jack’s cock. 

Jack sighed and shuddered through it, rolling his hips, letting the cooling water and the heat of Mark’s mouth contrast wonderfully, as Jack broke into goosebumps, as his whole body seemed to center on his dick, his balls, his belly.

He was going taut and tense, as he was sucked, as Mark kept holding on, as Mark moaned around Jack’s cock, and then Jack was holding on to Mark’s head and just… fucking Mark’s face, and then Mark’s nose was flat against his belly, and he was cumming into Mark’s mouth, and his toes were curling, and it was all just sweetness and heat.

And then Mark was standing up, pressing closer, kissing Jack, and Jack tasted his own cum, probably tasted a bit of his own piss, but it was okay - it was all okay, it was fucking perfect.

He let Mark fuck his fist as he sucked his own cum out of Mark’s mouth, and he moaned like he was being paid for it as Mark came across his belly.

“Fuck,” Mark said, his voice thick. “Wow.”

“I know, right?”

Jack grinned, and then he started giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’re a fuckin’ mess,” said Jack. “You need to shower so badly.”

“Well,” said Mark, deadpan, “it just so happens to be that we’re in the right place for that.”  
“You don’t say?” 

“Oh, no. I do say.”

Jack snorted - and then yelped, as Mark turned the water on, hitting him right on the back of the neck. 

“You couldn’t have given me a warning?!”

“Consider it revenge for cumming in my mouth,” said Mark. 

“That was weeks ago!”

“You literally just did it!”

“You seemed to enjoy it at the time!”

“... principle of the thing,” Mark said, but he was grinning as he said it.

Jack rolled his eyes.

* * *

Mark bought a piece of plywood.

It looked like the kind of cheap plywood you might find backing an equally cheap desk, and Jack eyed it, as Mark loaded it into their car.

“What’s that for?”

“... I thought, if we were gonna try doing the glory hole thing, we might as well… have one,” mumbled Mark.

“... fair enough,” said Jack after thinking about it. “But please make sure I won’t get splinters on my dick.”

“I’ll make sure,” Mark assured Jack. 

“That’s really all I ask,” said Jack. 

“No splinters on the dick, gotcha.”

Jack snickered.

Mark grinned back, his own cheeks pink, but clearly pleased with himself.

* * *

Mark did… something with the plywood. 

Jack didn’t pay much attention - that was Mark’s own pet project.

It wasn’t until Jack found it leaning against the wall of the bathroom that he noticed what Mark had done.

There were multiple holes in it, all ringed with duct tape.

There was commentary on it as well - graffiti of the seediest type, complete with badly drawn dicks and illegible phone numbers.

“That’s practically a work of art,” Jack said, indicating the plywood over her shoulder with her thumb. 

“I, uh, I was at the Museum of Sex in New York City once,” said Mark, and he was flushing. “They had an example of… you know, that kind of glory hole.”

“Hm?”

“It was an old door,” said Mark, “with holes cut all over it. And it had stuff written on it too, like “I love big hung firefighters” and shit like that.”

“Huh,” said Jack.

“And, uh… I thought that maybe… I’d put it up on the bathroom, and you could… use it.”

“Use it, or use you?”

“Well, if I put it up, I feel like it’s with the assumption that I’m gonna be on the other side of it,” said Mark.

“I dunno,” said Jack. “Maybe you wanna take a picture of me with my willy in a hole, for the laughs.”

“I would never do that,” Mark promised Jack. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

The piece of plywood in the hallway quickly just became just another piece of furniture. 

Jack didn’t even think about it, honestly - it was just… there.

Until, one evening, it wasn’t.

* * *

Jack got up from watching television to go take a piss, wondering vaguely where Mark was.

Usually Mark was done filming by now, and the two of them would watch a movie together.

But no Mark.

… the bathroom door was open.

The bathroom door was open, and the plywood was blocking it. 

Hm.

It did look a bit like a cheap door stall, for the kind of bathroom you’d see in a summer camp cabin.

Jack licked his lips - the light was on, and occasionally Jack heard the sound of Mark clicking something or other on his phone.

… but fuck it.

Why not?

So Jack… unzipped, dropped his trousers, and slid his limp cock into the hole that was approximately at cock height.

There was a doodle of a dog on a skateboard, right at eye level. 

He’d have to talk to Mark about sexy graffiti at some point.

But then there was a warm, dry hand on his cock, and it was already starting to swell.

Oh god.

Jack bit into his own hand, his eyes half shut, and he rolled his hips forward.

Then Mark was sucking his cock.

Full on sucking it, too - taking the whole of Jack’s cock into his mouth while it was still half hard, and it was going to full hard pretty quickly.

Jack rested his forehead against the plywood, and he moaned.

He took in the scent of it - still, faintly, of the permanent marker, and then there was the sensation of Mark’s tongue on his cock, and then Mark’s mouth again

It was a sloppy blowjob, drool trailing along Jack’s cock, and it was full of gulping and slurping, as Jack just fucked the hole, fucked Mark’s mouth and Mark’s throat.

There was something primal about this, something old. 

Something about just being able to stick his dick into a hole, and good things would happen to it.

Sort of a reversal of that old fear about vagina dentata - or maybe he was just giving a big ol’ middle finger to Freud, by being willing to stick his dick in a random hole.

Maybe he was thinking about this too hard, he was just fucking the hole, he was fucking Mark’s mouth, as Mark moaned and gasped about it, and then Jack’s belly was going concave, Jack was gasping out that he was about to cum, and Mark….

Mark just took Jack’s cock deeper into his mouth.

Jack came down Mark’s throat, and Mark gasped and choked, but he moaned as well, and then he was licking Jack clean, and Jack was shaking, and then… fuck it.

Jack pissed.

He pissed on Mark - or maybe he didn’t piss on Mark, maybe he was peeing on the floor, but who fucking cared.

It was on the other side of the plywood, and it wasn’t Jack’s problem. 

He heard Mark moaning, and then a gasp - a familiar gasp, even, and Jack carefully withdrew his cock, bending down to look in through the glory hole.

To see Mark, sprawled on the floor, his cock spewing cum across his shirt, which was soaked with piss.

As was Mark’s hair.

God….

“You’re one kinky fucker, you know that?”

Jack’s tone was teasing.

“I do my best,” said Mark. “Fuck… I need to do laundry.”

“Yeah,” said Jack, leaning on the plywood. “But… fuck. Can we do that again?”

“We totally can,” said Mark. 

And then Jack was chuckling in spite of himself, covering his mouth with one hand to keep from laughing too hard.

“What’s so funny?”

“... at least it’s not an evangelical Christian miniature golf course,” Jack said, his voice thick.

Then he just started to laugh.

“... what?”

“Glory holes!” 

“... oh my god,” said Mark, and he groaned, but he was laughing too. 

Jack grinned.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said. 

“Sounds like a plan,” Mark said, and he sighed. 

“Hey man, thanks.”

“For what?”

“For not being too… weirded out by this.” 

“I’m getting my dick sucked. Why would I be weirded out by it?”

“I mean, when you put it like that….”

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!
> 
> * * *
> 
> The bit about the glory hole door at the Museum of Sex is actually based on shit that *I* saw, lo those many years ago.


End file.
